#TheWashDayExperience: Why Your Hair Isn't Growing

Who Is This Addressed To?
This post, as you can tell, is about why your hair isn't growing.

This post is a wake up call that you, yes YOU, need to stop pointing the fingers and realize why exactly your hair does not seem to grow.

Your hair is breaking at the same time that it grows.
This is correct. Your hair is growing but YOU are NOT retaining it!
Imagine me gripping you by the shoulders and shaking you.
I want you to wake up!

This post is towards all those girls who complain about having short hair but do not put in the adequate amount of effort. I cannot shake you in real life. So I am shaking you virtually.

YOU need to get committed to a hair regime. Honestly, it does not matter whose hair regime you are following. Just follow the basics: shampoo, condition, and deep condition once a week at least.
This order is just something that you need to force yourself to do.
At least once a week.
It won't kill you to do this. It won't kill you to take an hour out of your day to shampoo, condition, and deep condition your hair at bare minimum.

Many times women come to me for advice. Some have known me since high school or grade school, when I had short and breaking hair that could barely fit into a ponytail and I wore weave most of the time. Others met me after I already grew my hair out.
They both want to know how they can get their hair like mine.
That is fine. The problem is that they continuously ask and continuously complain about their hair but do not do anything about it.
The reason why your hair is not retaining length is because of YOU.
I'm sorry, but I had to say it.
It is YOUR duty to research the countless information regarding hair care. It is YOUR duty to invest time and money to your hair. If you do not, so be it. However, when you are complaining about having short hair, remember who is truly at fault.
I understand this post sounds extremely harsh. I also know there are really people out there who have medical conditions that prevent them from retaining length or making it extremely hard to do so. I am not addressing those who have medical conditions or actual reasons behind why their hair won't grow. There are many medical conditions that result in hair loss and hair thinness. Also, there are people who prefer their hair to be short.

This is not addressed to those people.
This is addressed to those with no medical conditions or anything of the sort preventing them from retaining length. This is addressed to those who constantly complain about having short hair and blaming everything else except what is really to blame.

Top Reasons Why Your Growth is Stalled

If what you are doing to your hair is not working, please rethink your methods.

One of the things I hear from women is that they are using sew-ins as protective styles in order to grow out their hair.
In theory, this works.

Sew-ins, extensions, weaves, and wigs could be very helpful tools in protecting the length of your hair so that as your hair grows, your length is retained. Therefore, in theory, your hair should get steadily longer.

The problem is that this does not always work. I know girls since high school who have used this same excuse. In particular, I've known someone for five years with this excuse. If her method worked, her hair should be thirty inches by now (hair grows six inches a year).
Many women who I know have been using this excuse but their hair length has been stalled or decreased during the time they have been using sew-ins.
If you are doing the same thing continuously and it is not working, why continue to do it? If you were at work and you did something the wrong way and did not get any results from it, would you keep doing it? No? Then why would you keep doing it to your hair?

Stop with the excuses. If you actually want to grow out your hair, you need to take initiative. You need to be proactive. If your regime is not working, change it. Research hair care. Buy products with good ingredients (ingredients that you know are good via research). Learn about your particular hair.

If you keep hiding it in braids or weaves, you will never know how your hair works. How your hair responds to certain styling techniques and products. The best method to detangle your hair. If airdrying or blowdrying your hair is best. These and more are things you will never learn about your hair if you constantly hide it.

In fact, those women who I do know who managed to grow some length from weaves immediately had the length broken off because they did not know how to adequately take care of their hair. This happened to me. When I used to wear weaves all the time in high school, my hair grew to below bra strap (BSB) length. I tried to stop wearing weaves because I was so excited to finally have long hair! But I abused my hair by straightening it all the time, and I knew nothing about shampooing, conditioners, prepoos, deep conditioners, etc. My hair broke off back to shoulder length in no time.

 October 2010

 

March 2011

October 2011

October 2012

 I went through a period of shoulder length hair -> being a little consistent with a vague idea of a regime and getting to arm pit length -> stopping the regime and reverting back to shoulder length. And the cycle continued.
Until I became tired of this cycle.
Tired of relying on weaves and wigs to feel happy about my hair.
I wanted long hair. I needed to get serious. I needed to get consistent.
I finally reached the point where I realized it is MY fault I could not retain length. My hair was capable of growing, I had seen it. If I want to keep the length I grow and reach lengths I've never imagined, then I need to get my head in the game. I need to get serious.

This is the point YOU need to reach.
Are you serious about long hair?
Think over your methods. Obviously something is not working.

What is not working?

You do not sleep in satin caps or on a satin pillow case. I don't care if you are over your boyfriend's and you want to look cute for him.  If you are serious about retaining length, this is non-negotiable. If you are very self-conscious, then bring your own satin pillowcase.

You use heat regularly on your hair. I understand that straight hair is cute, but do you care about your hair looking cute OR do you want to retain your length? Think about priorities. If you are using heat once a week and you haven't retained length in years, switch to only using heat once a month. If that does not work, once a couple months. Or once a year. Or never. I'm sorry, but sometimes although YOU love heat your hair does not. This is something I had to realize myself. I used to love the look of straight hair. My hair does not like being straight and it sure does not like the process of getting straightened. I had to rethink my priorities: Did I want straight, damaged short hair or very long and healthy curly hair?  Ever since I asked myself this question, I started embracing my natural hair texture and now I prefer my curly hair over my straight hair. I have also grown my hair the longest it has ever been.

You do not trim your hair. Scissors is not the devil. You need to cut off your split ends (travels up the hair strands and breaks off hair, leading to hair thinness and breakage), weathered ends (weathered ends can become split ends), and some of your single strand knots (shed hair wraps around ssk, resulting in huge knots and problems).

You love sew-ins, but sew-ins do not love you. Some people do great retaining length with sew-ins. Others, however, stay the same length with sew-ins. If you are not noticing any progress, maybe sew-ins are not working for you. Also, in many cases, when your hair grows under the weave, the new growth tangles with the shed hair (remember, hair sheds up to 100 hairs a day. When your hair is braided under a weave, the shed hair is unable to detach from your real hair. Instead, it becomes tangled with your real hair, leading to matting and breakage). In other instances, weaves and braids can cause permanent hair loss: "Recently, a shocking study reported on by CNN revealed that weaves and braids may contribute to a type of permanent hair loss known as central centrifugal cicatricial alopecia, or CCCA, a form of baldness that begins at the crown of the head and leads to scarring. A staggering 59 percent of black women who participated in the study had hair loss on the top of their scalp" according to this post.

You are not consistent. Consistency is most important. Set a time once a week to wash, condition, moisturize, seal, and style your hair. Make your hair care a priority. Length might not happen overnight because your hair must become healthy before it can retain length well. However, do not give up. Your hair will grow.


Other posts to check out are these:
8 Tips to Get Your Hair to Grow Faster & Longer
How Braids and Weaves are Causing Black Women to Lose Their Hair
10 Reasons You're Losing Length
7 Reasons Why Your Natural Hair Is Breaking


I hope that this post serves as a wake up call to at least one person. I want that one person to realize that if they are serious about growing their hair long, it is possible but they need to rethink what they have been doing up to this point. It was a long process for me to re-evaluate my hair care methods and to take it seriously. Sure, I had wanted long hair my whole life, but I did not take it 100% seriously until I was tired of yo yo-ing between shoulder length and arm pit length. I knew I could achieve the length I desired and I was disappointed that I haven't taken it seriously.

When did you reach the point where you decided to take your hair growth in your own hands?
What was keeping you from retaining length? Mine was not being consistent and using heat.